Saturday, April 2, 2011

My Style...or Lack There Of

So yesterday I posted about that particular woman's lack of fashion sense, but the truth is...I have little of my own. And that goes for everything from dressing me to decorating my house and now my blog. I know what I like and I have good taste (at least I think I do...), but I have NO CLUE how to put things together.

When it comes to dressing me, I manage...I manage to get on a black tee and a pair of jeans (and usually flip flops). Lucky for me, I live in California and there are only a few days a year I have to substitute my flip flops for Uggs. And being a stay at home mom, there aren't too many occasions that require more than that. But there are those few functions that call for a little something more. In those cases, I have to call in my reinforcements (Kelley or Jennifer) to dress me. And those occasions ALWAYS require a shopping trip...usually to Target (or maybe Kohl's if I'm up for a challenge), but a shopping trip none the less.

Despite my lack of fashion sense, I do know there are a few rules that EVERYONE should follow.
1. Don't wear a shirt that is tight around your muffin top.
2. Don't wear jeans that are tight around your muffin top.
3. Always cover the muffin top because muffin tops are NOT attractive.
4. You can usually dress up a pair of jeans with a nice top and heels. Key word there being "USUALLY" and not "ALWAYS".
5. If your legs are jiggle, PLEASE don't wear short shorts. PLEASE! We're all begging you. Even if they're skinny...and for heaven sakes, stay away from miniskirts!
6. Don't wear shoes you can't walk in. You look like an idiot. (I must admit I'm guilty of this...but after falling twice in one night, and, no, alcohol WASN'T involved, I've learned my lesson.)
7. Sweater dresses are not for everyone.
8. Beanies and those headband things are also not for everyone.
9. You can wear a cute leather (or, in my case, 'pleather') jacket with just about anything.
10. Just because you can wear your daughter's clothes, doesn't mean you should.

Am I right, or am I right?

If you're not a fan of my t-shirt and jeans look, then feel free to secretly photograph me and send me in to "What Not to Wear". I'd be happy to take trip to NYC and spend $5000 of TLC's money. I'm sure that much would go A LONG WAY at Target.

Now my house? That's a job for HGTV. And something we're working. No seriously. We're working on a video to send in to HGTV...I'll post it when we're done and it's going to be so amazing, they won't be able to turn us down. blog. It is so dorky and lame right now. It's a good thing I'm so flippin' funny. The look is a work in progress and as soon as I figure out how to make it cute, I guarantee, it's gonna knock you're stinkin' socks off. I promise. Hum...I wonder if they sell blog layouts at Target....

P.S. Do you have any idea how hard it is to try and write on a Saturday morning while all three girls are home? I swear, if I hear "MOM!!!" one more time I'm going to lose it and I'll be posting from the looney bin!! Surely they have Wi-Fi.....

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