Friday, February 5, 2010

You're NOT Perfect, So Get Over Yourself!!

Nothing gets under my skin more than people who thing they're "perfect" or live the "perfect" lifestyle. That drives me insane!! (I know...short trip.) "I just had the greatest workout! I feel so energized! I feel like I could scrub my house from top to bottom...all 10,000sq ft of it! And then I'll whip up some super healthy, super yummy dinner for my family and all my kids who eat anything I put in front of them! And after that we're all going to the park to run laps for some healthy family fun!" Really? Is your life that perfect? Do you really do all that? I bet you sleep really good at night...or do you even need sleep? You probably stay up all night knitting socks for the homeless, huh? And are so energized by the good work you do, that you just keep going and knit them a hat and gloves to match, huh?

Here's the deal...I hate to clean so I only do it when I have to. If you drop by my house unexpectedly you might want to bring a nose plug because no telling what it'll smell like in here. You might also consider bringing a shovel so you can make yourself a path to the couch that is ripped and has stuffing coming out of it. Please don't take your shoes off, because while my floor appears clean, it's just camouflaging all the crumbs and dirt that I have yet to vacuum up.

I also don't work out...AT ALL. I keep saying I should, but honestly...I don't want to. Someone said, "When you really learn to love yourself you'll start taking care of your body." Um...excuse me, but I love myself very much. I love myself so much that I like to treat myself to a Reese's now and then to show me just how much I love me! I'm not saying one shouldn't take care of their body, but I think that some people are a little obsessive about it. It's ridiculous. They want to make sure everyone knows how healthy they are, too. I threw a pizza party in one of my girl's classes and the kids were, naturally, asking for ranch dressing. One obsessive mother said, "Oh...that just drives me nuts! Do they know how fattening it is to put ranch on pizza?!?!" REALLY?!?! You're serious right now? Please tell me you're kidding!!! It's PIZZA!!

Oh, and my kids are horrible eaters. Gracie lives on meat, bread and pasta. It's a wonder that kid doesn't weigh 300 lbs. Just about the only thing she eats is carbs. I use to say the only veggies she eats is corn, then someone reminded me that corn wasn't a veggie! It's a grain!!! Mia is a little better. She does like most fruits and a few veggies...but that's about it! One morning she ate an entire container of strawberries for breakfast. That came back to bite her in the butt...literally. And she LOVES chocolate! In her perfect world she would be able to dip all her fruit in chocolate and live happily ever after. Oh yeah...she likes beans, too. Fruit and beans. Yummy. {{Note the sarcasm}} Needless to say, she's very regular. Now Ella...she'll eat everything but won't eat anything. She likes the taste of just about everything you put in front of her, but she just doesn't eat. She'll take a bite or two of everything, then be done. We actually have days that she hardly eats anything all day long. Is that even normal? She's like a camel or something and stores it up, I guess. She'll go for a week and hardly eat anything, then for several days she eats everything in sight. Those days one or both of her sisters usually gets bit. Dead serious.
Although, I can say that all three of my girls do love them some green beans! Canned green beans, drowned in butter and salt. But hey...it's a green bean!!! Yipee!!

I don't cook very often, either. And when I do, it usually includes a pound of butter. Paula Dean is my hero!!

We're not perfect like some claim to be. I might be grumpy sometimes. I might be lazy sometimes and I might even feed my family "Shame Sticks*" for dinner, but we're happy...and I'm still a size 8 (most of the time).

P.S. *Shame Sticks = A stick of butter on a Popsicle stick rolled in sugar. As seen on 'According to Jim' on ABC.

1 comment:

Sharon Mizner said...

Now I know why I like you. I can relate to it all! Only I wish I was a size 8. Hey, the next time your kids tell you they are hungry for the 20th time that day, tell them to get their snack from the crumbs they left on the floor. !!! Thanks for another entertaining day in the life . . . .