Monday, February 1, 2010

"What?!?!?! I'm in the shower!!"

Showering. Alone. Without interruption. That's not too much to ask, is it? Isn't showering something one usually does alone, anyway (note I said usually, for those of you with your mind in the gutter)? Apparently, once you become a mother, the only time you get a chance to shower alone is if you do it in the middle of the night, or you're in the hospital.

On a normal day, I have every intention of getting up early to shower before the girls wake up, but 10 out of 10 times, I hit the snooze button until the last possible moment, then take them to school in my pj's (with a sweatshirt over them so you can't tell from the car, duh!). Then I come home and try to occupy Ella so I can have a few moments of peace. Yeah, like that'll ever happen. She's usually right outside the bathroom door, most of the time stripping because she wants to join me, or doing the pee-pee dance and expecting me to put her on the potty, or just standing there causing trouble. The latest antic was opening the blinds on the door right by the shower and "dancing in the sunlight"...while the cord on the blinds got tangled in the wrought iron cross hung on the wall. I spend my entire shower yelling at her to leave it alone because she was going to knock herself out cold. On second thought...maybe I should have just left her alone. Then I might have had some peace. Oops...did I just say that?!?!?

On the days that everyone is home, I have a parade of family members coming least one or more of the girls asking for food, or telling me about something that happened at school, or Tim...just standing there. AAGGGHHHHHH!!!! You know what!?! If you want a show, you're gonna start payin' for it, Buddy!

I even try locking the bedroom door to keep them out, but either Tim or Gracie will unlock it and let everyone in. It never fails. Someone needs to use the bathroom because the other one is in use (YUCK!!). Or someone needs a band aid. Or a brush. Or a Q-tip. The list is endless.

On Saturday I thought I had my chance because both girls had friends over so they were occupied and Tim was home to occupy Ella. Prime showering time, right? I walked in and locked the door behind me. I was going to take my time. Relax. Renew. (She said in her best spa commercial voice.) I stepped in the shower and took a deep breath. Ah...Nice. This time no one was going to unlock the door and come in...they were going to stand outside the door and pound on it and scream until I got out. I have no idea what they were even saying. All I know is that I couldn't barely catch my breath after the pounding started and I couldn't get out fast enough. I rushed through the shower and ran to the door (I would have jumped out right away but I figured if someone had cut off a limb, Tim would have stepped in...maybe). When I got to the one was there. Not a sound. Complete silence. Apparently it was just the fact that I was in the shower the caused the chaos. As soon as the water went off, all their troubles went away. Amazing really. Especially since the point was for the water to wash all MY troubles away.

What is it about Mommy having a few minutes to herself that makes everyone go bonkers? I don't think they mean to, it just happens. I don't get it and I never will, but I guess I just need to get use to it...Dang it!

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